My Cookie Baking Adventure

Hey all,

Sorry I haven't written a new post in a while.  My son has been a real bear lately.  He has been soooooo needy at night lately.  

Anyway, today I had a little adventure worthy of a blog post.  Most people don't know this about me, but I hate cooking.  I really despise baking.  I hate being in the kitchen period.  I don't think it's fun or exciting.  If I had to "rank" chores it would be right up there with cleaning the shitter.  Hell, I think cleaning the toilet ranks above cooking.  It takes me less time to do anyway.  I really only cook anything because well...my husband and children would die if I didn't.  Dieter can not cook.  Well, I take that back.  He can make cinnamon toast and a mean MRE.  Yep, I do all of the cooking here.  So you can imagine most of my recipes are very simple.  I have had people tell me to try recipes and I veto them because they have either too many ingredients or too many steps.  Don't feel too sorry for my husband.  The meals I do make are very tasty and I can make them very well.  I just don't branch out very often.  He likes it this way.  Usually things go badly if I experiment :)

With all that said, today I decided to bake cookies.  Yeah.  I know.  But the recipe was really simple and Maddie LOVES cookies.  The last time I made cookies was oh...a good 5 years ago.  I was making them for my coworkers.  That day I committed over 40 counts of bakeicide.  It was horrible.  The cookies were hockey pucks on the bottom and raw in the middle.  I would like to think that it was my oven (it was an old thing), but it probably has more to do with the fact that every time I'm in the kitchen it's like an episode of "My Drunk Kitchen" only without the alcohol.  Seriously, check her out!  She is hilarious!  This is one of my favorite episodes!

It started out well.  I put all the ingredients out on the counter.  Ha cookies!  You can't fool me!  I'm going to make sure I have ALL the ingredients before I start mixing you up!  Learned that lesson last time  :P  I even made sure I had all the measuring utensils and both of the beaters for my hand mixer!  I know right?!  Things are looking good!  

So I started mixing things!  Everything was great until I got to the flour.  Both of my children decided they needed me at once.  Maddie is freaking out because she wants a hug.  Dexter is screaming because he just woke up in his swing and realized I was not holding him.  *sigh*  I know most of you are thinking....why not let Maddie help?  Mommy/daughter bonding time in the kitchen?  Aww lovely thought isn't it?  Maddie has an attention span that a goldfish would make fun of.  That combined with my cooking ADD, well it's a recipe for disaster!  It's much safer if I just let her watch TV.

So I managed to save the world and stop Dexter from going nuclear.  Maddie got hugs and kisses.  Back to my cookies.  Sadly, I was in the middle of adding the flour to my cookies.  I have no idea how much I have put in.  Did I put in 2 or 3?  I need 4 1/2 altogether.  Hmmmm.....I think two.  So I add another cup, which finishes up my flour.  Never fear though!  I bought flour and have a brand new one on the counter.  I open it up, put my measuring cup in and ***SNAP***  My measuring cup handle breaks off.  Really?  

Sorry this picture was taken after I cooked dinner so just ignore my messy dinner dishes!

After the shock wore off (I mean sheesh who breaks a measuring cup while baking....only me :P), I finished measuring sans handle.  I finished mixing up the dough.  I was pretty proud of myself.  It looked right.  Maybe a little drier then normal (whoops may have added an extra cup of flour) but it looked like dough!!!

Next, I got out bowls for my sugar.  This particular recipe calls for rolling the dough into balls and dipping them in sugar and then flattening them with a glass.  I bought pretty pastel sugar for the occasion.  So I open the container and start shaking out the sugar....which took forever to get out of those 3 little holes!

Damn you little holes!

I finally give up.  The bottom of all four bowls are BARELY covered with sugar, but I have a hot oven and dough that is drying out.....LET'S BAKE!   After 2 cookies, I decided the "glass flattening" step is a pain in the ass so I just flatten them with my hand.  Yep.....I'm a cooking rebel!

I fill up the first cookie sheet and slap that bad boy in the oven.  I start filling up the second cookie sheet and the children suddenly need me again.  Both of them.  At the same time.  *sigh*  I tell them to wait (now both children are screaming) and I hurry and finish filling up the second cookie sheet.  Phew!  This is a race against time and I have 4 minutes until my timer goes off.  In record time, I calm Mad down, put on a new show, make a bottle for Dexter and prop it in his mouth (well son you shouldn't have woken up in the middle of my cookie baking :P).  

*DING DING DING*

I take the cookies out!  They look pretty good!  However, I have no where for them to cool.  Crap.  I knew I forgot something.  I kinda just push stuff off the counter unto the stools and lay some wax paper down.  Okay that's done!  The first two sheets of cookies used up all my sugar.  Crap.  I go to shake out some more and "OH SHIT!"  I broke my sugar container.  Wait a minute!  Ha ha!  It's supposed to do that!  I wish I had known this earlier :P  At this point, I'm feeling super smart that I figured it out!  Okay I did it on accident but shhhhhh let me have my moment.

Well isn't that convenient :)

I quickly ball up the rest of the cookies and get done right as my dinger is going off.  My first sheet of cookies has cooled.  Time to taste my creation!  They were pretty tasty.  A little dry and hard, but hey it was my first time doing it and I was distracted!  Maddie thought they were amazing and she had 4 of them.  My neighbors also thought they were pretty good!  

It wasn't until I was making dinner that I realized I totally left out a whole stick of butter.  The recipe called for a cup of butter and for some reason I equated it with a stick of butter.  Whoops!  Now I know for next time (yep...this was pretty painless....I'll do it again!).

They are pretty at least!

Maddie's Cookies AKA HLV Sugar Cookies

1 cup Oil
1 cup Butter (yeah that's 2 sticks...FYI)
1 cup White Sugar
1 cup Powdered Sugar
2 Eggs
2 Teaspoons Vanilla
4 1/2 cups Flour
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1 Teaspoon Cream of Tartar
1/2 Teaspoon Salt

Cream oil, butter and sugars.

Add eggs and vanilla.

Add dry ingredients.

Roll into balls.  Dip the ball in colored sugar and flatten with glass (or your hand if you are lazy like me).

Use a greased cookie sheet.

Bake at 350 degrees for 12-15 minutes.