I used to be a super happy people person. I loved going out and doing stuff. I was a "busy body." My children have taken that part of me and destroyed it. Now this person might come back when the children are in school, but for time being that part of me is dead. Oh but I'm supposed to enjoy this time....my kids are only this little once...blah blah blah blah. I would say let's look at my entire day, but I probably won't have that much time before I get paged by Thing One and Thing Two. So let's just look at an average night. Let's start at dinner time!
5:30-6:30ish - Dinner. Finally, broke down and made Peanut Butter and Jelly for my daughter because she run screaming at anything else mentioned. I have also lost any battle with making her sit at the table. She is watching a movie and will go to the table for bites. Dexter is on his play mat in the living room making giggle noises. Tristan is passed out on the back of the couch and Oscar is sleeping on the bed. My child/pet ranking is as follows:
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Oscar - for completely leaving me alone and being out of sight
Tristan - for leaving me alone
Dexter - for still being demanding even when you are on the floor being cute
Maddie - for being a brat at dinner
This quickly changes when I go in the bedroom to prep bottles/diapers for Dexter and find Oscar sleeping in the clean clothes basket that I have on the bed. Seriously, a queen sized bed and you sleep IN the clothes basket. Ranking has now changed to this.
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Tristan - for leaving me alone
Dexter - for still being demanding even when you are on the floor being cute
Maddie - for being a brat at dinner
Oscar - Asshole
6:45-7:30ish - Oh joy it's bath time. I get both kids nudie and we splash and have a good old time. I take out Dexter first and put on his diaper and pajamas. On the way back to the living room, I check on Mad who is sorting her toys by color. I cuddle Dexter for a moment to get him warmed back up (a job that is usually designated to his father, but I'm on my own for the time being so everything I do takes twice as long). Dexter falls asleep. Yay! I put him in the swing and begrudgingly tread back to the bathroom because it's "hair wash" night. I'm not sure why my daughter has a problem.....it's not like she has a bunch of hair. A process that should only take 5 minutes takes about 15. After trying to be calm about it I finally just start dumping water over her head so we can finish up. The ranking system is now as follows:
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Dexter - because he is calmly sleeping in his swing
Tristan - he is still on the couch sleeping
Oscar - still angry at him for the clothes thing
Maddie - for being a brat at bath time.
7:30-9:00ish - Dexter is still sleeping so I go to Mad's room. We cuddle/hug for a good 10 minutes because she is cold. Then I get her in her pajamas and we read books. She is super tired because she didn't get much of a nap so she readily agrees that it's time for bed. She goes down without a fight! I go out in the living room. I look at the toys all over the living room. I look at the dirty dishes in the sink. I think FUCK IT! This is the first time all day that both children are sleeping at the same time. I play some Harry Potter Legos on Xbox! The ranking system is now as follows:
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Maddie - because she is down for the night
Dexter - he's down for the moment but I know I'll have to feed him before bed
Tristan/Oscar - Both are thinking now that I have no children hanging off of me that it is now "their" time to hang all over me. They are sadly mistaken. Both get pushed off so I can have some time without anything/one touching me.
9:10-11:30ish: I finish one level (it seriously only took 5 minutes) and look over to see Dexter STARING intently at me. It seriously freaked me out. I'm not sure when he woke up (sometime in the 10 minutes of my "Yay Me Time") *sigh* I try to pretend I didn't see, hoping he will go back to sleep. No bananas. Dexter becomes Mister Fussy Pants. I feed him, check his diaper, play toys with him, read him a book, rock him etc. He has no intention of going back to sleep. So he has "Tummy Time" on top of me while we play Harry Potter Legos. He FINALLY goes to sleep as I decide that I'm too tired to play anymore and it's too much of a challenge to do while he's wiggling. Hmmph. The ranking system is now as follows:
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Maddie - because she is passed out
Tristan/Oscar - both have scampered off, plotting their revenge
Dexter - Thanks for the no kid free down time buddy.
11:30-12:00ish - My head doesn't ever shut down properly anymore....even though I'm exhausted. I go to bed and read a little bit. The cats now know that this is THEIR time and I become a Renee Cat Sandwich. Both are purring and snuggling. Reading has a drug like effect. I'm done. I finally turn off the light and pass out.
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Maddie/Tristan/Oscar/Dexter - everyone is on equal footing because they are asleep.
2:20AM - I wake up to the feeling of my flesh being scraped off my back. My daughter has snuck into bed with me. She is sleeping perpendicular to me and is digging her toenails into my back. I just cut those suckers yesterday....and I cut them SHORT! In the wee hours of the morning, I contemplate removing her toenails altogether.
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Dexter - because he is passed out
Tristan/Oscar - both have left, probably when Maddie snuck in
Maddie and her toenail claws of doom.
3:45AM - I wake up to a cat snarling and hissing and just making a horrible racket. It's Oscar. He's freaking out. I quickly investigate and nothing is out of the ordinary. His tail probably snuck up on him again.
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Dexter - because he is passed out in his bassinet
Maddie - because she is sleeping (not in her bed though)
Tristan - because he was probably egging Oscar on
Oscar - for being an idiot
6:15ish - Dexter wakes up freaking out. I quickly feed him and he decides it's "play time" Grrrr. I finally get him back to sleep around 6:45ish.
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Tristan/Oscar - because they aren't annoying me
Maddie - because she is sleeping (not in her bed though)
Dexter - for waking me up, although I'm not too mad though. He is pretty much sleeping through the night. I am upset about the playing though.
6:45ish - Cats are jumping on my head. Thanks for that. I finally just give up and decide to zombie veg in front of the computer. As I walk past the Master Bathroom and see cat shit on my carpet. The day has already started out shitty. Pun intended.
Favorite Child/Pet:
Mr. Bubbles The Fish :)
Dexter - because he is calmly sleeping in his bassinet
Maddie - because she is sleeping (not in her bed though)
Oscar - pissy at him for not letting me sleep. He was trying to lick INSIDE my nose.
Tristan - for shitting on the floor. Yep I totally know those lincoln logs are from him.
Perhaps I should have stuck with a fish.
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